Lockdown in Italy, 25 March 2020
Originally posted on my Facebook page on 25 March
I am prone to road rage. It's my Achilles heel. People who know me as the calm and steady Martina are stunned when they get in a car with the Martina who verbalises her frustration in a voice that seems to come from the netherworld! The thing is, I know it is not only pointless, it also makes it worse - for me that is.
At the moment we've all got reason to be frustrated: with those who ignore the directions to #stayhome; with those who buy more than they need; with our leaders who we think should do more. I get it. I feel it too. But I learnt many years ago that holding on to frustration only does three things: zaps my energy, attracts more of the same from others, and blinds me to seeing how I could change the very thing that frustrates me.
But frustration is an important indicator. It tells us when the world we see is not consistent with the world we want to see. This was a common theme in our leadership programs over the years, so maybe the message and the story below can help you create the change you wish to see in the world.
How can we make others do what we think they should do?
This is one of the most common questions we get asked in our Leadership programs. Do you know what the answer is? It's not by telling them more loudly, by showing them more data, by pleading with them or yelling at them or judging their behaviour or criticising them. Our frustration holds them locked in place. But our leadership sets them free.
When you start acting the way you wish others would act, you start a virus that infects the world.
Many are questioning why people are not self-isolating, why people are still panic-buying, why leaders are not fixing these problems or making clear decisions. While we spend time questioning, we are missing opportunities to lead. And they are around us every moment, in good times and in adversity.
A Chef in London who had been told to close the kitchen and send everyone home, rallied his team and said "We are going to make this place shine and be proud of our actions today." And his team did. He organised a last box of fresh food supplies for every member of his team so they could go home to their families without a job, but with hope. And they did. And each of these team members took home this beautiful virus of leadership that infected their families with the belief that they too could make a difference. And they will.
